After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
