Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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