dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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