also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We need to get me chipped asap
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
