My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
bring money and cleavage
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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