Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
