the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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