ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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