he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
