So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize