Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You can't just leave with hair like that
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
