god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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