well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
