Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
they're like a gay fantastic four
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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