After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
