Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
