clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
