So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
