just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
