I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize