and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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