Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
