Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
