I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
