i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
