This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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