I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
