Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
