OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
