You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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