I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
