If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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