Small penises have feelings too.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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