Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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