Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
