Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
