Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize