So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
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