I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
