Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
