ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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