Sponge bath it is.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
