just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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