why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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