This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize