Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
