Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
