We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
