and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
