Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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