I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
