Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
barbara walters just said penis...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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