How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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