sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
