btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize