O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize