I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
