We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize