I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
