I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Randomize
