I think im going to throw up on grandma
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
