God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize