Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
