I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
