I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
