She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
